Bearing my soul

Once upon a time, before we were born, there were all these lines. Souls could choose different lines to stand in. Each line represented various characteristics that the eventual human being would gain. There were lines for large foreheads, dimples, sunny dispositions, wealth, excessive ear wax... there were a lot of lines.

The catch was that the souls didn't understand the outcomes of the lines. One could easily stand in a line for halitosis thinking it was a good thing. (It isn't, for anyone confused about it.) But it did make the process democratic. Which was nice.

My soul appears to have stood in a hotchpotch of lines. Whereas I have friends that stood in the 'beauty' line, I happily waited in the 'good teeth' line. I apparently stood in the 'long lovely hair' line but then followed that up by standing in the 'chronic disease which may cause hair loss' line, and then I rushed off to be in the 'obsessive compulsive' line. I seemed to have missed the line for abstinence and control. I was probably gobbling up some lunch. (Souls need lunch, ok.)

So whenever I get the chance to converse with a rent-a-friend, otherwise known as a psychologist, I refuse to discuss my childhood. Would it be that easy to deconstruct my urges? I think not. It is time people embraced the fatalism inherent in soul choice. It makes eating that extra chocolate far less guilt ridden. I mean it was written in your soul code. How could you resist? Did you choose the abstinence and control line? No. You were eating lunch.