Friday, 19 February 2010

I need

I am in a carb frenzy. My mind can only think of pizza.


pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza

and maybe a little salad.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Death to all incompetents

I am being driven insane by a client. My point of contact there clearly told tell me that they would give me a certain amount of work and then (after using my intellectual property and ensuring that I transfer knowledge) it was decided to go the cheaper ineffective route. Of course this involved using me in a far reduced capacity. I cannot believe I fell for it. It is the classic smash and grab of the unethical business entity.

What truly kills me is that the point-of-contact person is incompetent and does not hold himself responsible for anything even though this is his project in its entirety. Deadlines not met... not his problem. Overbudget? Incomplete briefing? What does that have to do with him? He appears to live in a world where he doesn't actually exist.

I must have serious PMS because all I can think of is creating a dartboard with his face on.

Monday, 15 February 2010

Life lessons

Will the life list ever end? aka Filing is not a swear word.
We seem to be surrounded by a gang of self-help addict gurus and life coaches. You can change the world! (I can?) You are in charge of your own destiny! (But what about my bank account?)

I think the intentions of this movement are wonderful. People need to understand how empowerment can work in their environment. However, I do think there is an enormous hole that is not being addressed. (Drum roll please.) It is administration. Admin. Add-minimal. Adamant.

How banal that sounds but I am telling you the God-given truth. We read about how we can alter our existence... if there are piles of unfiled papers cluttering our offices and destroying our minds then the only altering that will happen is the one with an f in front of it.

I want to climb Mount Everest. Not going to happen without a visa. Organising a visa means a whole lot of personal details that come to light when there is an effective filing system. You can reach for the stars when your taxes are paid and you have updated your personal file.

Life begins, not at 40, but when you become an expert filer.


'To be excited' - it changes everything. It doesn't matter if life throws wonderful experiences at you, without excitement and an awakening of some kind of passion it all becomes meaningless. The trick trying to figure out where the excitement/passion lies; then how to reawaken it. When magic returns to your life suddenly the simplest things feel beautiful.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Through the eyes of abundance

It's so easy to see our lives as lacking. What is it we don't have? There are people, adverts, various other media, the ubiquitous society that will let us know just what we don't have. Are you keeping up with the Jones? Or the Khumalos? Have you achieved everything that your classmates have achieved? Don't you feel good when you find out about someone who hasn't quite made it as 'far' as you have?

We fill our heads with a constant drive to fill our lives. Because if we don't, we will just not be good enough. The yardstick lives outside ourselves and we have little control of it. Look at the holes in your life. Look and be desperately upset at what you find.

People feel desperate and sad. There are a thousand, a million of us living our pain every day. We are not what we are supposed to be. We are not good enough. Our self image is dictated through the eyes of others.

Is it that difficult to see how ridiculous this is as a life philosophy? We surround ourselves with thinking patterns that ensure that we will never be satisfied. Welcome doom because there is so little chance of achievement. Each win is just a step to the next want. There is no understanding of satisfaction.

It is time to look at everything with the eyes of abundance. I have developed in this way; I have achieved this; I have gained this; I am. Take a deep breath and just be who you are for a moment. Perhaps tomorrow it will be two breaths.

VD - ain't that the truth?

My most intimate and loving Valentine's Day gift (the one I still keep and look at from time to time even though I have long broken up with the giver) is a poem about farting. This should go some way to explaining why I feel like a demon around Valentine's Day. So I hereby declare the day to be called by its initials.

Yay for VD.

Hip hip hooray.
So back to the life list:
1. This was about learning from your experiences. (See post before.) The overused saying that there is always a lesson to be gained is true. As simple as that.
2. Aaaah and then I made the point about looks. We are truly a visual society. Everything logical says it shouldn't matter and yet it still does.
3. Families are not prescriptive. No matter how messed up you think yours is there is another family round the corner that can beat it. If your family is wonderful there are also more wonderful families shining their light over yours. The point I am trying to make (although it seems to be taking a fair amount of time) is that you are not alone, defined by a family experience that seems to have no ending. To be in a family is to be part of life - good or bad. The crappy things will end and so will the good things. If it is possible, try to maintain family relations. There is a strange and wonderful strength in them. Blood ties connect you, are part of defining you and at times can sustain you. It is worthwhile to truly attempt an understanding of the family experience. A lot of your lessons will come from this sector.
4. Almost everything you can imagine will pass. Knowing this lets you keep your head above water during the crappy times and helps you appreciate the good times. When you are devoured by an experience that feels as if it will suffocate you, know it will pass. When you are feeling very ill and the pain is all over your body, it will pass. The state will change. It also helps keep things in perspective. I have another way of keeping perspective. I hold my wee until I am about to burst and then find a loo and release. Suddenly you realise your true priorities - number one is to wee.
5. There is a universal law at play. If you listen hard enough you can hear it whisper and you can see its machinations. The universe really does work with you. But you have to listen and you have to act. It follows the Newtonian law - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The opposite isn't negative but a counterbalance to move you forward in a certain direction.
6. There are a lot of things in life that will feel like they have no meaning. It is up to you to give them meaning or discard them. Part of life's journey is being active in creating that journey. If you are predominantly passive, don't complain about what gets handed your way.

(A glass of water is screaming my name right now. The list is at odds with my bodily desires.)