Not on my watch

Today I woke up and forgot that I was not on holiday yet. Then I panicked and made ready. But I got lost and arrived as half a worker at the computer. I tried to organise. My stomach was queasy. I lay down. I stared at the pc. I sent a few emails. I lay down. I brushed my teeth. I realised it had been months and I hadn't picked up my cheque book. I walked to the mall. I waited for a long time in a line, sweating while I drowned out other people with my iPod. I got angry at the bank teller. I felt bad. I had an illicit felafel. I felt ill. I walked home. I wanted to vomit. I lay down and passed out. Later I woke up and took painkillers. I called a friend and apologised as I would not be able to go to his housewarming. I was nauseous, my body was queasy and there was blood coming out my bum. Now I am back at the pc and have nothing to say.

Pick me!

When I was young and thought about what it would like to be older, I never thought I would be someone who was nicely turned out. But I am. Chipped nail polish makes me cringe. I actually feel a little ill if I am not wearing make up. Someone recently tagged me as 'elegant' in a Facebook photo. If you threw the dictionary at me, I wouldn't have chosen that word. I have always been the dishevelled rebel but somehow mutated without realising it.

So I placed a photo of myself on my cellphone as wallpaper. It's my link to the external visual presentation. I don't think I could pick me out in a police line up. Now I am training myself to recognise myself. Not an easy journey.